The Fabula Rasa

Forget the nighttime tales of your youth. This... is Origin

A group of travelers were dumped into a vast forest. The travelers were a group of male and females. One male was Hispanic, black/brown hair, brown eyes, and tall. 

As we continued through the forest, we arrived to a grass plain with a single brown bark tree in the middle. Since the grass was like those found on a well cared for lawn, we started to travel across. 

We were several feet from the midway tree when several of the people ahead of me started to fall into the ground. I took one step and also fell through. The grass started to break. It had the same pattern as stepping on a weak ice lake that was cracking. Feeling the water up to my neck, speckles of dirt on my space and hair, I see we were stepping on floating grass (roll-out lawn grass floating). As the pieces began to part, I see an alligator eyeing me. It was a typical alligator coloring and look. Thankfully the water was thin, even if it was brown, allowing me to flee backwards. Eventually I was able to heave myself up on the solid piece of grass land. 

Walking on the grassy plain back, I was led to a grey slab rocky castle. the first floor contained 3 rooms. the 1 staircase led to the second floor. it contained 2 rooms. a walkway led to a tower. In this tower was a hidden room where a tablet on the floor has to be stepped on for it to open. When it opened, Indian styled jewerly and one statue appeared. As you continue past the hidden room, you see a hay stack, a barrel and cobbled stone floor. The windows were cut out outs of the rock, none contained glass.  Going back to the walkway, a chained up tiger suddenly appeared, guarding the walkway.

Sensing danger, i ended up in a square court yard which enclosed by the same type slab stone waist high. The same perfect lawn green grass was in the middle of the courtyard and around us. Facing the castle, I would be standing on the back left corner, the Hispanic man on the front left, and the rest of the people scattered on the right side. 

Being the leader, I gave orders for the scattered people to draw the dragon's attention. Didn't work because I had to duck as it swooped in and tried to blast me away with the fire spewing from its mouth. I yelled at the man, berating him for not shooting the water cannon (instead of cannon balls it shot water) at the dragon, instead he soaked me. Yelling at him to aim again, I raised my sword as the dragon swooped in and fired another attack at me. The water cannon missed again and I had to duck real low to avoid being hit. The dream ended with me looking at the water cannon in anger.
Reference Drawing: http://www.artmotive.com/imagine-dragon-flying1.html












Hello Blog,

I have had several dreams but they were personal so I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to post. I have been getting with my PTSD nightmares. I don't remember than as vividly now and most of the time I forget. Jason was probably right that by suppressing my creative side, a side that I used to cope with my issues, was having a negative affect on me. During middle school I used to read, A LOT, and draw. When I arrived at high school, I started drawing, painting, reading even more to cope with the nightmares. I have not done any of that since getting into college. College was all consuming, especially when I was accepted into the nursing program. I find myself wanting to draw, paint, sketch so much more now, like a compulsion. I would love to take art classes again to develop my skills once more not for professional use but to accurately draw what I want to express. I find that the visions that are still left in me when I awaken, I cannot draw adequately. It is very frustrating. Words cannot explain all the vivid colors and details in my mind.

Well on to last night's dreams:

I was Adam Sandler, weird right?  Wearing white loose clothing and brown soft leather moccasins (?)


Scenery:
I was standing on a mid sized, mostly smooth, round rock not to far from the beach. The beach sand was a nice light peach cream but gritty. The water was a mixture of green and blue that turned to white foam as it gently caressed the sand with each ebb and flow. A baby blue sky with a few faint clouds. The wind headed in the direction of the beach. It was the type of wind that pulled at your clothing but isn't uncomfortable.
Three hazy children were by the water playing with the sand. They seem to be between toddler and preschool.  I only know they were white with brown hair, one was a boy and a girl. The third I couldn't get a clear view.

Story:
I had a purpose on that rock. It was to protect those on the beach by scaring off the ... animals. I would wave, yell and stamp on the rock to scare them away. Looking at where the rock meets the water, I can see small green cartoon looking fish trying to climb on my rock. It had those puffy lips in a circle with round eyes staring at me. Eww. One got on and began to crawl towards me, I had to stomp next to it so it would jump back into the water. Next, were the snakes....one snake got on the rock and it scared the pants off me. This snake was multicolored and shiny. The pattern was black, yellow, purple/pink/red color, yellow, black, yellow, purple/pink/red, etc. It's tongue came out as it faced me and it began to coil itself.

The dream transitioned into me running away from the snake. I was running through a white house with hallways and rooms left and right. I went into a room, closed the door, and stared at the bottom. Where there was barely a gap, it got larger, big enough for the snake to slip its head inside. I smacked its head back and it retracted. It tried again and I kicked it. I began to be desperate. If I put my shirt in the gap it can probably push it and pierce it with its sharp teeth. If I used my leather shoes it would cover small but not all the gap, leaving my feet vulnerable. Finally I looked under the door and saw the freaking snake right in the middle close to the door. It was nicely coiled, head resting on its body tucked in, beady black eyes looking at me and its tongue slithered out....

I forgot the rest of the dream on purpose. I chose to forget about it because I get a gut wrenching dread in me just trying to remember. My heart picks up its pace, my joints feel weak....some things are best left alone.





This picture was inspired from an argument with my mother in which she accused me of being a calculator. Calculator = cold and heartless and logical thinking. This was because I told her instead of thinking with her emotions, to try and use her brain. Some situations require emotions to be put aside and think about the situation with a clear mind. 

ACS did a surprise visit to the house upon hearing lil bro was back in NY. 

Mom ALLOWED him to come back when she knew the younger siblings (lil bro and lil sis) were in hot water with ACS. 

If she was thinking with her MIND, she would have told him: (1) To wait a while before visiting her NY, (2) She will visit him in the country, or (3) have him come to Florida and stay in Uncle house so she can travel there to visit him. 

Being fed up with her selfishness, I didn't give her the sympathy she sought, instead I told her why it happened in the first place. She didn't like being told it was her fault in the first place. (1) She told me to butt out the situation and not to mention it again. Due to this, I threw away all documentation regarding the incident - she called today asking for them. Unjustifiably, she was upset at me for doing so even when I repeated it's what she told me to do - BUTT OUT. (2)  Why allow him back if she knew it would antagonize the situation? (3) She is not following ACS protocol.  (4) She asks for my advice than doesn't follow through with it.  (5) She thought she brushed it under the rug, now her denial and selfishness is coming back to bite her.

Well she pissed me off by calling me call hearted, that I would never understand because I'm not a mother, she just wanted to see him because he's her son, I won't understand anything until I have children....blah blah blah. It's all bullshit justification on her end. It's the crap parents say when they know they are wrong and don't want to be proven wrong. 

Anyways, that is where my inspiration came from for this picture. TAH DAHH!!

Fabula?

Yes, yes, Its a play on an overused cliche but I think it works. Tabula Rasa is latin for blank slate and in writing this blog I hope to highlight just how little modern fairytales and folklore actually represent their original tellings, in essence, losing most of its meaning and context creating a blank tale or ... a Fabula Rasa

The LeaRNer?

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