Hello Bloggy,
It sure has been a
while since we last spoke. Things have certainly changed in a short amount of
time. I guess tonight I am writing to you to let my emotions free. Let's keep
you up to speed on what has happened so far.
It's the new school semester, my last one in nursing school before I take the
state exams around June or July. Currently taking advanced med-surg, leadership
and management, and policy and politics classes. Mom is still in Jersey with my
little sister working two jobs and completely stressed out over the IRS while
overexercising. Dad working late to make extra cash while I deal with his OCD
issues (he had a stroke about 3 years ago by the way). Grandma still going to
church and praising God at every chance she gets. Johnathan in the army and
Eric now in PR with his father studying.
Now for the real juicy
parts:
Grandma had an
accident 2 1/2 weeks ago. She was walking down the sidewalk when suddenly she
tripped. Banged up her face and broke her right arm. By the kindness of a
passing stranger, she arrived at the hospital safely. What gets me upset, she
did not call ANYONE to tell us what happened. I found out when she finally
caved in from a her friend call my mother. Gramma did not have anyone to cook,
clean and help her until the visiting nurse services were arranged. So
naturally I had to be the one to take up the responsibilities. Very difficult
when she has Alzheimer's Disease, extremely stubborn, and misinformed about a
lot of information. Add that on top of college. Eventually, her care
began and I moved back to dad's place.
One week ago my mother
had a heart attack at the age of 40. I was called on Wed at 1:30am by her
complaining of chest pain and her left arm in pain with difficulty breathing.
She flat out refused to call the ambulance when I told her it sounds like a heart
attack. On Friday midnight she was dragged to the hospital by a friend when her
symptoms got worse. I was called at, ironically, 1:30am saying she has been
admitted to the hospital telemetry unit. Hit the road at 2:30am that same
morning. During this chaotic time I had to take care of mommy, keep up with her
care, try to handle a lazy "emo" little sister going through her
teenage phase, take massive medications to hold down my allergies (very
allergic to dogs and pollen), while studying for the exams I have for the next
two weeks.
Thankfully my fiance was there next to me to take things a little easier. During this time it was very difficult to sleep, probably had about 4 hours of sleep each night. There doctors at St Peter's Hospital could not give my mother a clear diagnosis of what happened to her. My opinion dropped even more when the cardiologist told my mother to take 3 doses of Prednisone 40mg each 8 hours apart than head to the ER for a CAT Scan of her chest to check for a pulmonary clot. Here's a major problem: The cardiologist did not give her extra medication to wean her off such a high dose. Mom could DIE from adrenal insufficiency if she does not wean off. Naturally, mommy dearest ignores me and refuses to follow my directions.
Currently, my nerves feel shot. I can barely sleep fearing
another event will occur to my family. The exams are coming up in a couple of
days and it doesn't help. How do I feel? Anxious, confused, emotional,
angry, and sad. Not once has anyone seen my cry. The brave face has had to stay
on to keep everyone together. I want to break down and let everything out but
the barrier won't fall. It's so hard to relax. My diet has been shot in trying
to keep the stress down. Forcing myself to eat healthy again instead of gluten
free cookies constantly.
Maybe now that I put
something I can finally sleep and let some stress flow away.
PLEASE! Anyone that
reads this blog, read the picture below on the signs and symptoms of a heart
attack in women. It is different between men and women the signs. During the
time where the number one killer is heart disease, everyone should know the
signs of a heart attack, stroke and DVT.
